sleep well, ninja

when saying goodnight to your ninja, make sure you disarm her before giving the goodnight cuddle. it can be quite painful if she takes offence and decides to give you a bit of a scar to remember your stupidity by.

as it is, she'll still attack you and give you a fine ninja-beating, but most of the bruises aren't permanent and broken bones will heal without visible scarring, but those nasty slashes down your cheeks are a dead giveaway as sign of someone stupid enough to cuddle an armed ninja.

never tell a ninja you love her. always tell her, instead, that you respect and admire her for being the most sensible and dedicated ninja you have known. bow politely, and return to your bedroom.

walk backwards, and never turn your back to her, or the ninja may suspect you of being sarcastic. (being sarcastic is something i never do.)

be warned that, when ninjas suspect sarcasm, they often respond with severe and swift action guaranteed to leave your kidneys bleeding.

remember: ninjas think love is something you feel for a puppy.
don't think this means ninjas like puppies. puppies poop on floors and chew ninja slippers.