they're so quiet, you can't hear them even if you have your hearing aid turned right up to its highest setting. they can slip across a floor of bubblewrap and not pop a single bubble. they can sneak up right behind you, wrap their ninja arms around you and poke long metal straws into your ears and suck out out your brains, and you wouldn't even hear a thing even as your gooey mushy brains dribbled down your cheeks.
ninjas expect you to be noisy, but they really hate it when you are. you can't ever sneak up on a ninja, so don't even try. they'll only fill your guts with pointy ninja stars if you try. but, in the middle of the day when they're sleeping, never walk around the house. always shuffle as quietly as you can. never do the vacuuming when you live with a ninja.
remember: never take a ninja to see a tom hanks film.
they hate tom hanks, and rightly so.
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