ninja kisses

some ninjas poison their lips and when you kiss them, you will die at the dastardly claws of some weird and painful poison. this is why you should never try to kiss a ninja. you can be sure they will either cut off your lips for further inspection, or allow you to kiss them before walking away without seeming care. if the latter occurs, call an ambulance immediately and inform them you have been poisoned with an obscure poison obtained from some rare tropical plant. ask them to do their best, but don't be too surprised if you drop dead before reaching the emergency ward.

remember: ninjas are the best sneakers in the world, and i don't mean they're made by nike to be worn by ill-tempered basketball players.