the ninja's lair

a ninja's lair is a frightful thing. it's full to overflowing with sharpened steely things, swinging chainy things, and an assorted array of some of the more curious tools of assassination.

every bottle of perfume is poison, every talcum tin full of anthrax, and every shred of clothing designed for concealment and deathbringing.

when walking into a ninja's lair, always remember to touch nothing.

not a thing.

especially the fluffy teddy bear with the pretty blue ribbon.

remember: ninja dating rituals can be confusing. to be on the safe side, remove all knives, forks and chopsticks from the dinner table before feeding your ninja. she won't mind. she's used to bringing her own knives.