ninja vs mosquito attack

when ninjas hear the sound of buzzing in the night, it can only mean one of two things to them.

either someone's blowing poisonous darts in their direction, or else there's a hungry she-bitch mosquito on the loose! in either case, there's only one option.

that's a frenzied attack.

the only difference in situations is that, in case of blowdarts, the weapon of choice is strictly limited to a ninja sword of much-person-of-blowdart-blowy-killy and, in case of mosquito, anything that comes in handy.

watching ninjas slice mosquitoes in half with a wide variety of thrown ninja weapons is both hypnotic and oddly terrifying.

what's worse is seeing a squealing mosquito victim impaled against the table with a blue ballpoint, leaking blood and ink, while your ninja looms overhead, crying, "i see my blood! my blood!!!"

there's something kind of disturbing in that one...

remember: when ninjas ask if you'd like to frolic on the bed, you can be sure it's going to hurt. a lot.

ninja channel surfing

ninjas love remote controls.

they love flipping channels, often with a variety of loud grunts and squeals.

"die, oprah, die!" as she stabs the buttons on the remote.

i hid the remote, once.

so my ninja changed the channels with ninja stars instead. my tv has many holes in it.

remember: about the only trick ninjas will perform in public is slicing up your nose with corn chips when you ask them to perform tricks in public for your friends.